San Francisco-based artist, Hannah Rothstein has come up with a hilarious series called, ‘The Broga’ and this is about how one can be fit and healthy in the popular “bro culture” while having a good time at a party, chugging beer and impressing women as one performs ‘yoga’. Here are a few of her recommended yoga poses you could do at a party to be healthy and famous among the ladies.
1. Video Gamekasana
“Sit in front of large screen with the bottoms of your feet touching and your knees bent. Turn on X-Box and pick up controller. Inhale. Exhale. Show those motherfuckers who’s boss.”
2. Kegstand pose
“Strengthens your arms & bro-tastic reputation. Place your hands on either side of keg and kick one leg up, followed by the other. Inhale epic amounts of beer.”
3. Linebacker II
“Stand straight, bend your left leg towards the side holding a baseball in your hand. Stand ready to throw the ball at someone who enters the door. ”
4. Insensitive Boar-ior III
“Balance on one leg and lean forward with arms extended. When a hot chick walks by, make groping motions with your hands to display your appreciation for assets.”
5. Chest Bump Moon
“Turn to this pose when the emotions you can’t express overwhelm you. It is best done with a partner. Facing your partner, reach your arms to sky, back bend slightly, and your bump chest against his saying, “No homo” as you do.” :P
6. Beer Pong Lunge
“Pick up a ping-pong ball, and step one foot forward. Inhale and sweep your arms to the sky. Toss the ball, and watch it land in your competitor’s cup. Whoop loudly, and immediately transition into Chest Bump Moon Pose.”
7. Shotgunasana
“Stand tall on one leg with a six pack in one hand and your free foot resting on your inner thigh. Puncture a beer, then pound the shit out of it.”
8. Reverse Weekend Warrior
“From Linebacker II pose, drop football and grab shot glass. Keeping front knee bent, reach your back arm towards your ankle, and tilt your head. Now…Shots! Shots! Shots!”
9. Wrecked Doll
From drunkenly wobbling on feet, exhale and hinge at hips. Let torso and head hang heavy. Cradle trash can with elbows, and align head with inside of trash can. Puke until you feel release.
10. Manchild’s Pose
“This pose is the foundation of broga. Return to it anytime things become too challenging. With fists clenched, kneel and drape your torso to the ground. If someone asks what you’re doing, gesture angrily and reply, “Fuck you, bro. Do you want to take this outside?”
11. Shitface asana or Corpse Pose
“This is your final pose, your resting pose. After a night of partying, fall to the floor with limbs sprawled wide. If still cognizant after five minutes, roll onto your side so you don’t choke on your puke. Breathe deeply and pass out, bro—you’ve done great work today.”
This makes chilling with the bros so much fun!
Sourced from Hannah R0thstein.com
